Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (12a)

May 19 2010 Uxbridge Gazette

Jerry Bruckheimer's action formula rolls back into town with this big budget video game adaptation, says DAVID WATERHOUSE

PRINCE of Persia: The Sands of Time is the best film ever adapted from a computer game. Sorry Kirby: Fright to the Finish!! fans. The problem is, having that mantle is like being called the best-looking EastEnders star, the less annoying member of the Dolmio Family or the twin in Jedward you would least like to push under a bus.

The bar is that low when it comes to movies based on video games.

So bad, in fact, that there is a special level of Hell where they run on a constant loop. An eternity of having your liver nibbled on by vultures is one thing, but there is nothing quite like watching StreetFighter until Judgement Day to make you re-assess your life choices.

So the good news - for the souls of the terminally tormented and parents (same thing) at least - is Prince of Persia offers some moments of respite.

Directed by Mike Newell (Four Weddings and a Funeral, Donnie Brasco) and produced by Jerry Bruckheimer - a man who even turned a rubbish Disney theme park ride into a multi-million pound franchise - you would expect nothing less.

A bulked-up Jake Gyllenhaal plays the titular Prince Dastan framed for the murder of his father, who adopted him when he was just a street urchin.

He reluctantly joins forces with a mysterious princess (Gemma Arterton, who must have used a trowel to apply that much fake tan) as he not only tries to clear his muddied name, but also defeat the dark forces really behind the king's death. Oh, and stop them getting their hands on the Sands of Time - a gift from the gods that can reverse time and allow its possessor to rule the world.

Gyllenhaal certainly looks the part. Several trips to the gym and gallons of protein shakes have transformed the pin-up of disaffected teens and gay cowboys everywhere into a screen hunk.

He can also run around, swing a sword and

somersault over camels with the best of

them.

The problem is he lacks the easy-going charm needed to become a bona fide action hero and spits out his lines like he has sand in his extremities.

He should have smiled more - he is quite good at that.

His romance with Princess Tamina (Arterton) - complete with badly-scripted, tit-for-tat wisecracks - is almost as unconvincing as his accent.

At least he tries, though. Arterton spends the entire movie shrieking about her blooming 'daygaaaar'. Not exactly princessy.

They are also not helped by a terrible script full of hokey one-liners and fortune cookie platitudes.

As for the rest, Ben Kingsley, sporting more make-up than Gemma Arterton, does little more than pick up his cheque as Dastan's uncle Nizam, while Alfred Molina gives a star turn as ostrich fancier Sheik

Amar. All in all, well, it's not very good, but not terrible - a marked improvement on most of the movies adapted from video games.